Retired Stuff (Apocalypse Edition)

Stuff I said when the world was going to end in December 2012

So who thinks the world will end on Friday?
Will you sell me your house on Thursday?

I see we all survived yet another apocalypse
‘Apocalypse’ is a word that isn’t supposed to have a plural
There’s one apocalypse and then you’re done
Not one every year
If we’re going to have an apocalypse every year, let’s make it the same day
So the stores can have ‘end of the world’ sales
And we can plan end of the world parties
Of course, all the caterers will want to be paid in cash up front
And we can decorate for it
Lighted countdown clocks on the roof top
Exploding globes in the yard